Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, 

They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, 

They learn to fight.
If children live with fear,

They learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, 

They learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, 

They learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, 

They learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, 

They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, 

They learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, 

They learn patience.
If children live with praise, 

They learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, 

They learn to love.
If children live with approval, 

They learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, 

They learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, 

They learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, 

They learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, 

They learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, 

They learn respect.
If children live with security, 

They learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, 

They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

By:Dorothy Law Nolte

I HELP out in a community outreach program somewhere in a barangay in our City. We give tutorial lessons to Grade 1 pupils who at 6 years old, nonetheless, could not read a basic “katinig.” 

The regular teacher who is in charge of these particular non-readers takes it upon herself to justify the “slowness” of these kids who do not make the cut, so to speak. Maybe because she thinks it will reveal something about her competence. 

She gripes noisily about one specific pupil. She said that she has to make this kid stand in a corner most of the time because of his unruly behavior in class. Moreover, his reading skills (and other life skills as well, she seemed to insinuate) could not be improved on since it is obvious that he is not helped out at home. She thinks she is unfairly saddled with the task. 

Afraid to embarrass the teacher if I point out my unease right away, I discreetly held a finger in front of lips to shush her. 

Later, I was filled with remorse since it appeared that I was more concerned of a grown-up’s feelings than his. Why was I more sensitive of the needs of someone who can very well take care of herself? 

The little boy nonchalantly resumed his antics. Perhaps he built a thick wall of indifference around him. After all, he is puny and powerless and don’t adults have the last word? 

What could be going through the mind of a six- year-old who is ignored at home, and when turned over to another adult, pronounce such a conviction? How can someone so young learn how to believe in himself?

Another time, the teacher commented that she really did not want to be an educator in the first place, but as a wife and a mother, the job is the most practical since it will allow her to come to her family after work. The bright side, she concluded, is that she is now able to stand kids with snot-filled noses - a development which she thinks is remarkable for someone who is grossed-out by such, she implied. 

This remark was uttered within hearing distance of everyone especially that of the hapless kid’s and others with the same grooming habits. 

Most of us who were just as young once, could attest that these comments hurt. Deeply. Traumatizing in fact, as we learn that we have been written off. Written off as someone who may not amount to anything, perhaps? No wonder, the kid was extra- pikon when taunted by classmates. (The classmates were simply following the teacher’s example.) 

Later, I was browsing through some tattered textbooks used by the class. Good manners and right conduct were integrated in lessons in English, Filipino, and Sibika, among others. The lessons stressed the importance of respect for others, our elders, specifically for oneself. And yes, I think the lessons were lost on that little boy with snot dripping from his nose. 

The one who could hardly read.